Renewal Of Vows
/ Commitment Ceremony

Almost 75% of wedding ceremonies in Australia are civil ceremonies conducted by Commonwealth-registered Marriage Celebrants. The role of Marriage Celebrants is to provide ceremonies in accordance with the legal requirements of the Marriage Act 1961 and the Marriage Regulations 1963, as well as provide couples with the necessary information to choose or create a ceremony that suits their needs and expectations. A Marriage Celebrant conducts and leads the ceremony in accordance with the couple’s wishes, with the appropriate professionalism, dignity, and presentation. Marriage Celebrants must maintain a high standard of service in their professional conduct and practice. Marriage Celebrants are permitted to solemnize marriages in almost any location in Australia and therefore their work takes them from beaches to wineries, parks, restaurants, chapels, the list is endless. 

As a Marriage celebrant, I will ensure:

• Fulfill all the legal requirements outlined in the Marriage Act 1961
• Adhere to the Marriage Regulations 1963 Code of Practice for Marriage Celebrants
• Meet with the couple to discuss their ceremony
• Provide the couple with varied and diverse ceremony options
• Provide couples with a choice of ceremonies that suit their needs and expectations, or compose a meaningful, personal and tailored ceremony 
• Liaise with anyone involved in the ceremony, from family members and friends to other wedding vendors and venue managers
• Offer support, assistance and information at all times to couples 

Renewal of Vows ceremony is about:

• Celebration of Love;
• Continuing Love Story;
• Reaffirmation of Vows/Love

There is no formal history on when these first become known but they have been popular for many decades. Some churches have been known to hold an annual renewal of vows for married couples who are their church members.

The commitment ceremony is about:

• Celebration of Love;
• Just two of us.

Commitment ceremonies are generally held as an alternative to a legal wedding.

This could be for many reasons including:

• The couple not believing in marriage; 
• Not being allowed to marry due to cultural beliefs, and 
• They can even be used as a commitment to marriage. 

Some couples will also use a commitment ceremony to celebrate their marriage, which may have taken place earlier or even overseas.

Vows are the one of the ceremonies where the couple usually requires the greatest assistance. Every couple wants to say the perfect words to each other. Some couples like to write their own vows, others like to select standard template vows, and some just want to say the legal words.

For those couples writing their vows, feel welcome to encourage them to use the sample vows as their starting point. For those who choose to select sample vows, you may like to provide them the option to look at a few and take some liens from one and some from another to create their own unique vows.

Vows can be presented in the following ways:

• Recited after the celebrant
• Read of a palm card
• Memorised by the couple.

All celebrants should have a detailed knowledge of different wedding ceremony rituals that they can offer couples to include in their ceremony. A ritual can add a very personal touch to a wedding ceremony. 

Below is a list of traditional wedding ceremony rituals with sample wording. on cultural and religious inclusions. 

Please note that most rituals can take many different forms and celebrants will have their own interpretation for each one.

• Handfasting

Handfasting is a popular way for couples to include a glimpse of their ancestry or simply to add a special memory to their day. We have all heard the expressions “tied the knot”, or “giving one’s hand in marriage”. But have you ever wondered where those sayings came from? It’s in reference to the ancient tradition of handfasting. Handfasting was originally practiced by the Greeks and Romans. 

The Romans created a garland made of magnolia, elder and roses. It was then wrapped around the couple’s wrists to signify love and fidelity. In ancient legends, lovers were united together as they “tied the knot” in the tradition of Celtic handfasting. 

The ceremony was especially common in Ireland and Scotland. It was commonly the way that couples were “officially” married before the church became involved in wedding ceremonies. 

A “Celtic handfasting” would be performed by a priest or priestess, who would invoke the energies of the four elements, earth, air, fire and water, to create a sacred circle in which the couple could be joined as embodiments of god and goddess. Although handfasting is non religion specific, it has become a favoured wedding ceremony for Wiccans and Pagan groups.

The Cords

Traditionally, these are represented with a tartan plaid representing the groom’s clan or family group. However, as time progressed, colours have been introduced with specific meanings and these may assist the couple when choosing their colours. Some couples may only wish to use the same colours as their ceremony theme, while others may choose colours dependent on a visual desire for their home. However, the ritual does not need to be limited to cords and we have already mentioned ribbons are a great alternative but really anything can be used. A couple may wish to use material from a much loved garment, including the bride’s wedding dress or a past loved one’s wedding dress or suit. Other great options include lace, hessian and even braided ribbons intertwined with charms significant to the couple.

The meaning of Colours

In the traditions of Celtic handfasting, the couple’s wrists are bound together using ribbons of thirteen different colours. Each colour has its own special meaning and below we have collated meanings we have found from a number of sources:

Red – passion, strength and courage, good health, fertility, prosperity, and longevity 

Orange – open hearts, encouragement, attraction, kindness, plenty, sensitivity and understanding 

Yellow – charm, confidence, joy, balance, enthusiasm, spontaneity and equality 

Green – finances, fertility, charity, prosperity, health, compassion, affection and caring Blue – tranquillity, patience, devotion, sincerity, easy self-expression and honest communication 

Purple – power, piety, sanctity, sentimentality, clear vision and wisdom, for peace and harmony in all ways Black – strength, wisdom, vision, and success

White- purity, concentration, meditation, and peaceGray – neutrality, cancelling, and balance

Pink – unity, honour, truth, romance, and happiness 

Brown – earth, grounding, talent, telepathy, and home

Silver – treasure, values, creativity, and inspiration

Gold – energy, wealth, intelligence, longevity, unity -divine blessing and presence in your lives 

The Ceremony

Below is a sample ceremony where the couple uses the colours of the ribbons, but we encourage you to use this as a guide only because the reason for the couple or family choosing this ritual can differ greatly. It is also important to use your own words so that when you read these words they will flow and you won’t stumble on the words. Cords, ribbon, etc are individually draped over the couples’ hands, one for each vow to be made. The couple can make up their own vows of course or if guests are to drape the cords, they can either read a prepared vow, create their own vow that passes on their best wishes and hopes for the couple or even say one in silence. Or you as the celebrant can read out the name of the people draping the ribbon/cord and call them forward one at a time and explain to the guests the meaning of that colour ribbon/cord and what that person is wishing for the couple.

• Couple Rose (Flowers) Presentation

When a newly married couple exchange their first gift, it can be very symbolic and even more significant when exchanged in the presence of their chosen families and friends. But the gift will be there to act as a reminder that from that day forward, they started their new journey with love and it shall be continued with love.

The Flowers

The roses can really be any flower and they can be fresh, artificial, or even ornamental. If using a flower other than a rose, ask the person gifting it, what its significance is to their relationship and also research the general meaning behind that flower – though you do need to be careful as some of the meanings may not relate well to weddings

Alstroemeria symbolises wealth, prosperity and fortune and is the flower of friendship.

Amaryllis symbolises splendid beauty and is used to indicate worth beyond beauty.

Anemone symbolises fading hope and a feeling of having been forsaken a symbolising as well anticipation.

Anthurium symbolises hospitality and is used to indicate happiness and abundance.

Aster symbolises patience as well as elegance and daintiness.

Bird of Paradise symbolises joyfulness, magnificence, excitement and wonderful anticipation.

Bouvardia Double symbolises enthusiasm and a zest for life.

Calla Lily symbolises magnificence and beauty. The white calla lilies symbolises purity and innocence.

Carnation symbolises pride and beauty. A red carnation symbolises love, pride and admiration; a pink carnation symbolises the love of a woman or a mother; a purple carnation symbolises capriciousness; a yellow carnation symbolises disdain, rejection or disappointment; a white carnation symbolises innocence and pure love; and a striped carnation symbolises refusal.

Chrysanthemum symbolises fidelity, optimism, joy and long life. A red chrysanthemum symbolises love; a white chrysanthemum symbolises truth and loyal love; and a yellow chrysanthemum symbolises slighted love.

Daffodil symbolises regard and chivalry and unrequited love. It is indicative of rebirth, new beginnings and eternal life. A single daffodil foretells misfortune while a bunch indicates joy and happiness.

Daisy symbolises innocence and purity and conveys loyal love. A gerbera daisy symbolises cheerfulness.

Delphinium symbolises big-heartedness, fun, lightness and levity, plus ardent attachment.

Freesia symbolises innocence and thoughtfulness.

Gardenia symbolises purity, joy and sweetness as well as secret love. They also convey to the receiver they are lovely.

Gerbera – see Daisy as they belong to the Daisy family.

Gladiolus symbolises strength of character, faithfulness and honour. This flower also symbolises remembrance.

Heather and Lavender symbolises admiration, solitude and beauty. White heather symbolises protection and indicates that wishes will come true.

Hyacinth symbolises playfulness and a sporty attitude. Blue hyacinth stands for constancy, purple for sorrow, red or pink for play, white for loveliness and yellow for jealousy.

Hydrangea symbolises heartfelt emotions. It can be used to express gratitude for being understood. Iris symbolises eloquence. Purple iris is symbolic of wisdom and compliments. Blue Iris symbolises faith and hope. Yellow iris symbolises passion while white iris symbolises purity.

Larkspur symbolises levity or lightness.

Lilac symbolises youthful innocence and confidence. White lilac symbolises humility and innocence, field lilac symbolises charity while purple lilac symbolises first love.

Lily symbolises purity and refined beauty. White lily symbolises modesty and virginity, orange lily symbolises passion, yellow lily symbolises gaiety while Lily of the Valley symbolises sweetness and purity of heart. The Easter lily is the symbol of the Virgin 

Mary.Orchid symbolises exotic beauty.

Peony symbolises bashfulness and compassion.

Protea (King) symbolises change and transformation.

Queen Anne’s Lace symbolises a haven or sanctuary. 

Ranunculus symbolises radiant charm.

Rose symbolises love with each colour having a significant meaning. Red is for love; white is for chastity, purity and innocence; yellow is an expression of exuberance; pink conveys gentle emotions such as admiration, joy and gratitude; orange is for passion and energy; lavender conveys enchantment; blue conveys elusiveness; green is for harmony, opulence and fertility; black is the colour of death and farewell; and a mixed bunch of colours can be used to create a bouquet of emotions.

Snapdragon symbolises graciousness and strength.

Statice symbolises remembrance.

Stock symbolises lasting beauty and a happy life.

Sunflower symbolises pure thoughts. 

Sweet Pea symbolises delicate pleasure and bliss. 

Tulip symbolises a declaration of love, fame and perfect

The Ceremony

In the past, the rose was considered a symbol of love, and a single rose always meant one thing, “I love you.” 

So it is fitting that for your first gift – as Person 1 and Person 2 – will be a single rose.

I now invite our couple to exchange their first gift and ask that wherever you make your home in the future, that you both pick one very special location to create a garden bed of roses; so that on each anniversary you may plant another rose as a recommitment to your marriage – and a recommitment that THIS will be a marriage based upon love. In every marriage there are times where it is difficult to find the right words. It can be difficult sometimes to say the words “I am sorry” or “I forgive you”; “I need you” or “I am hurting”. If this should happen, if you simply cannot find these words, leave a rose at that spot which both of you have selected – for that rose then says what matters most of all and should overpower all other things and all other words. That rose says the words: “I still love you. “When you need to look upon this rose or any others in your garden, look to them for the words which cannot be found, and remember the love and hope that you both share today. 

Person 1 and Person 2, if there is anything you remember of today, it is that it was love that brought you here, it is only love which can make it a glorious union, and it is by love which your marriage shall endure.”

1. The Fight Box or Wine and Love Letter

The Fight Box Ceremony is also known as Love Letter and Wine Ceremony and is a promise that the couple make to one another, to not walk away quickly from their marriage if they encounter hard times. 

It can also be adapted to use as a future wedding anniversary gift which the couple will open on their first, 10th or chosen anniversary, or break into if they need a reminder of their early love. Unread love letters can be included, along with messages left by family and friends on the wedding day.

Alternatively, couples may choose to open it each year to celebrate another year where they have continued to grow together and support each other

The Ceremony Sample

Below is a sample ceremony you may wish to adapt depending on the couples own reasons. This ritual usually takes place after the couple has exchanged vows. Ideally, it can be done as a lead into the signing with the box already set up on the signing table

Person 1 and Person 2, you have decided to conclude your wedding with a Fight/Box/Wine Ceremony.

You have brought here today a strong wooden box that will hold a bottle of wine and two glasses. In addition, this box will hold letters that you each have written to the other.

These letters express your thoughts on today’s wedding, they share details about the good qualities that you have found in each other, and they include why you fell in love with one another. You have kept your letters to yourselves and they are sealed in individual envelopes.

Person 1 and Person 2, should you ever find your marriage enduring serious difficulties, you agree that before you make any irrational decisions, that you both, as a couple, will open the box, drink the bottle of wine together, and then venture off into separate rooms to read the letters that you wrote to one another when you were united as a couple.

By reading these love letters, you will be given an opportunity to reflect upon the reasons that you fell in love with each other in the first place. 

Of course, the hope is that there will never be a reason for you to open this box.If that is the case then you can have it to open together on your 10th/15th/25th wedding anniversary!

Person 1 and Person 2, I now ask that each of you take a nail, one at a time, and hammer the box shut.”

Please note this is a guide to a basic, traditional order of service. Couples and celebrants are welcome to add, change, reorder and/or omit any parts.

There is NO legal requirements for Renewal of Vows/Commitment Ceremonies. The Celebrant will prepare a luxurious certificates and present to the couple.

Welcome

Celebrant welcomes all the guests and provides any applicable housekeeping announcements (phones on silent, ‘unplugged’ info, what’s happening after the ceremony – group photo etc.)

Remembrance

The bride walks down the aisle to music with the bridal party and her nominated escort (father, mother etc.) Sometimes the bride and groom may choose to enter together. 

Couple Story

If desired, the bride can be given away. Traditionally the father gives the bride away but the bride can choose her mother, a sibling, a friend or can be anyone.

An alternative option here is a family blessing/ acknowledgement, where the parents of both the bride and groom are asked to confirm their love and support of the marriage.

Vow or Ring Exchange

The celebrant welcomes everyone, talks about love, the meaning of marriage and the couple’s story. The welcoming can include any particular thanks (parents, people who have travelled) and acknowledgements (loved ones who are no longer with us or absent family and friends). 

Reading

The couple may choose to include some readings or poems. These can be read either by the celebrant or a guest, or even the bride or groom.

Rituals/Blessings

The couple may include any particular wedding rituals or blessings. These can be traditional, religious or multicultural.

Signing of Certificates

The couple sign their wedding documents with their celebrant.

While I remain a member of the Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants Inc. (AFCC), I agree to comply with the spirit, intent, and provisions of this Code of Ethics and accept the responsibilities implied by membership in the association:

• To maintain the highest levels of business, professional and personal standards;

• To respect in all circumstances the privacy, confidentiality and trust expected by clients and members of the public;

• To provide sufficient, timely, transparent and accurate information about the range and extent of services available, the costs of those services and the functions and responsibilities accepted for and on behalf of clients;

• To respect the personal choices of clients, having due regard to the diversity of beliefs, cultural backgrounds and practices; 

• To ensure that all personal advertising is in good taste and directed at informing the public without indicating any conflicts of interest,

• To be conversant with relevant legislation and regulations directly or indirectly applicable to celebrancy and to comply with such;

• To respect the ethical expectations of other professionals with whom I interact in my celebrancy activities

• To inform and provide access to relevant client advisory services and authorities to facilitate mediation or resolution of any